Life Lessons Learned by Year
Summarizing 365 Days of Lessons One Year at a Time
You might be asking yourself why?
My mom always asked us on our birthdays for something we had learned that year. One year I started writing them down and sharing them on social media. One lesson for each of the years that I had lived. I did not realize it when I started sharing just how much they would mean to me or to others. I look forward to taking the time to reflect on all of the good, bad, ugly, and beautiful things that happened in the year and sharing them with others. I hope that my lessons remind you that you are not alone, and maybe get you out of a sticky situation, or maybe just maybe, make you appreciate all the beauty that is around us. This is where my lessons per year will live. I look forward to watching this list grow and grow.
Love you more,
Morgan
28 Lessons Learned as I turned 28
1. When people show you who they are, believe them. Not tell you, but SHOW you
2. Thinking about your situation is perfectly fine, but it will never change it. You can not think your way into a better life, you have to act on it.
3. God told us to love our neighbors, all of them. Even if, no especially if, they voted differently from you. Love doesn’t discriminate.
4. Our feeds and algorithms are making us addicted. We spend hours staring at a rectangle hallucinating and avoiding our lives. What could you accomplish if your phone died?
5. Your words have immeasurable power. I was within three feet of the man who murdered my grandmother this year. I delivered the victim impact statement on behalf of our family in front of him. The officer told us “that in all of his years, he's never seen a bully cut down that fast by words.” Don’t let the fear in your voice block you from using it or diminish its power.
6. Purge your social media of people every so often. I do this a lot and will be doing it again come the new year. We share a lot online and not everyone has the best of intentions in “being your friend.” If I wouldn’t go get lunch with you to tell you about how things are going, we’re not friends.
7. How you speak to yourself matters. Have you ever seen the videos where kids in a classroom speak kindly to one plant and with hate to the other? I’ll bet you can guess which one grows better. You are the plant, speak kindly to yourself and drink some damn water.
8. I saw something that really spoke to me. It was a man asking strangers “What would you say if I told you I was going to give you a billion dollars?” People were of course over joyed and said how grateful they would be. The man then asked “What would you say if I told you I would give you the money but if you took it you would not wake up tomorrow. Would you take it?” Everyone said no. Waking up tomorrow is worth more to you than ONE BILLION DOLLARS. Don’t waste one second of your life.
9. I had to ask many times for people to provide letters of support for the hearing. I had to message family members directly asking them to support THEIR FAMILY MEMBER. I was ignored by people who are “family.” I was given excuses as to why people would try to get to it or couldn't get to it by people who are “family.” If your relative has to beg you to write a paragraph in support of your family member's murder not being released, you are not family. Family is what you make it, not just blood.
10. The reason behind why you are doing something is what is going to keep you showing up for that thing. Motivation is fleeting, but if your why is strong enough you will never give up.
11. The media is trying to scare you or sell to you. Once you understand that the world becomes much clearer.
12. Pets are one of the greatest blessings yet losing them is one of the worst losses. There is something so tragic about losing something so pure and full of unconditional love. The loss does not negate the life. We miss you every day Coopy.
13. Health is the greatest form of wealth in this country. No one is going to come along and force you to take care of yourself. In fact the system profits if you don’t. But you get one body and the way you treat it impacts your time on this earth. We don’t get back time, so try not to give it away so easily.
14. If someone walks out of your life let them. Its pretty rare that the trash decides to take itself out. Don’t drag it back in.
15. Support your friends and their dreams. If someone I know wants to own a business, or start content creating, or write a book I am there. I will like everything you post, I will engage, I will share, I will help you if you need it and more. Why? Because the world is full of large companies filled with greed and not enough dreamers. Invest in small businesses and you invest in US.
16. If you want to make your life better, pick up a book. If you want to hear the most amazing story ever told, pick up a book. If you want to see far off places, start an adventure, learn a skill, battle a dragon, expand your knowledge, PICK UP A BOOK. As someone who read 197 books this year I can not even tell you how much better my life has become since I put down the phone and picked up a book.
17. Stop saving the “special” things in your life for a “special time” to use them. Wear the nice perfume, drink the bottle you have been saving for a rainy day, go to that place you have always wanted to try, adopt the animal you keep saying one day to. Life is too short to spend it waiting for the day to be “special.” You are alive aren't you? That is special enough.
18. Love your friends kids as if they were your own. The world is full of people with bad intentions to innocent children. Protect them, love them, teach them, and help them as if they were your own. Children will not remember the things you buy them but they will always remember how you made them feel.
19. Although it may not feel like it sometimes, you were put on this planet for a reason. The odds of you existing are estimated to be 1 in 10^2,685,000, which is a 1 followed by almost 2.7 million zeros. You are a miracle. Your story was needed on this planet just as anyone else. The same God who made the animals, the planet, the stars, the mountains, and the sea knew the world needed you. Never think of cutting your story short.
20. If your brain does not produce a chemical, store bought is just fine. Don’t punish yourself or think down on yourself for taking any medication to help your mental health. Would we shame diabetics in need of insulin?
21. Start a journal. Doesn't have to be hand written, could be digital. But start documenting your life, your days, your feelings, your beliefs. Don’t wait until you can't remember it. Someone out there is going to want to hear your story, maybe your kids or grandkids. I know I would have loved to hear my grandparent's. Document the little things, for they become the big ones.
22. Try something new. Whether its a food, a movie, a hobby, a skill, etc. Learn all the things that the world has to offer. You just might be surprised at how much joy it brings you. Our brains love to learn and change.
23. Leave things on this earth better than you found them. Even if it is just a fraction better. Leave the world better than you find it.
24. My brother, while I may not always agree with him, is one of the most obstinate people that I know. If he decides that he is going to do something, he is going to do it, whether people call him crazy or not. You could learn a lot from him and his ability to get things done with out being deterred by what anyone around him might think.
25. My mother is a perfectionist, I had to get it from somewhere. I have watched her my whole life spending time to make sure everything is perfect. From the food we ate, the plates we ate it on, our gifts being equal to the penny, cheer goodie bags and banners, perfectly wrapped presents, and missing less than 5 points in college total, and more instances than I can count. Its funny because my mom didn’t need to do any of that, she was always perfect just as she was, for who she was. She was and still is the perfect mom, she's all we ever needed.
26. I think one of the best sounds on this planet is my dads laugh. I love when he's telling me a story and he really gets going and then has to stop cause he's laughing so hard. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t hear that laugh and it is my favorite. Growing up he really taught us the best ways to be happy, even if everything wasn’t going your way. If more people were like my dad, the world would be a better place.
27. Every year I am shocked at just how much more I love my husband than the last. Its funny because I never thought I could love him more. But somehow every day he proves me wrong. I never had someone who I felt like cared for me or my heart before him. But if it makes me happy he will do it. Even if it means listening to hours of a fantasy book series I love just so he can talk to me about it. People read books dreaming to find a man like him.
28. This year although my messages seem negative, I had a great year. But it was also an emotional one filled with learning some really hard lessons. I am still very grateful. Each of these lessons prepared me for the next year of my life and I wouldn’t be the person I am today with out them. My biggest lesson this year is trust your gut. We often make a decision in seconds based on a gut feeling and then spend weeks/months/years changing our minds. Do not. Trust your intuition on these things, it will guide you in the right path.
"If someone walks out of your life, let them.
Its pretty rare that the trash decides to take itself out.
Don’t drag it back in. "
27 Lessons Learned as I turned 27
1. Starting something new is really hard and really scary. However, it is not nearly as scary as living with regrets. Try that new thing, you never know what might come of it.
2. Other people's opinions of you are none of your business. Respect that they have the right to feel that way and then move on. Our time is finite, don’t waste it worrying about what others think, spend it acting on what you do.
3. There is a difference between something you are expected and “supposed” to do versus something that you need and want to do. I have spent too much time doing things that I was expected to do and not stuff that I wanted to do. Learn from my mistakes.
4. The Lord moves in mysterious ways so you do not have to. Use your turn signal and don’t be selfish.
5. Assume the person you are speaking to is having a bad day and approach them as such. You never know what someone around you is going through. In my experience we treat people who are upset with much more kindness. Kindness should be the standard not the exception.
6. Overconsumption is a massive problem. Just because something is aesthetic or new does not mean you need it. Once the newness fades it will become another item cluttering your house that you look at thinking “why did I waste my money?” Give your cart a solid couple of days before you hit check out.
7. Who you follow can have a massive influence on your brain. Subliminal messaging is all around us. Who you follow and interact with on social media plays a big part in this. Unfollow, unfriend, and unlike things that aren't positively contributing to your life.
8. Turn off the news. There is a large difference between educated and inundated. You do not need to see the worst parts of humanity 24/7 on a loop. It’s easy to become sucked into that negativity and it does nothing good for you. If there is something you need to know, trust me, you will find out.
9. If your marriage is abusive, toxic, and negatively impacts all the people around you, it is okay to get a divorce. Staying “married for the kids” is asinine. Your kids deserve happy healthy good parents more than married ones. You are their first example of what love is supposed to be, so be a good one.
10. It’s not okay to ask people if they are pregnant, when they will become pregnant, when they are going to try for kids, when they are going to have kids, or any other variation of this question. 1 in 4 women struggles with infertility. Odds are highly in your favor that you are a nosey asshole who might hurt someone. Babies are pretty hard to hide, chances are they would tell you eventually, so wait until then. If they don't tell you, then you aren't close enough to them to ask those questions are you?
11. Set goals you actually want to achieve. I will never have the goal to climb Mount Everest because I would rather light myself on fire. Setting that as a goal because it's “healthy” or “inspirational” is dumb when it doesn't matter to me. You are more likely to achieve goals that have a significance to you.
12. Define your 5 non-negotiable personal, relationship, and family values and remove anything and anyone who doesn’t align with them from your life. This is something that my therapist recommended to me and I have really taken to heart. One of my core values is honesty, therefore when someone lies to me or withholds information from me I know that who we are at our cores do not align. Setting my values and holding strong to them has been very helpful for me in improving my quality of life.
13. Monetarily rich and a rich life are two very different things. You do not need to have a lot to have a lot. Some of the most beautiful and meaningful moments and things in life are free.
14. You may only have one life to live, but a reader lives thousands of lives. Pick up a book and dive right into it. Reading is one of the best things you can do for your mind.
15. Choose who you vent your feelings, experiences, and situations to carefully. Never forget that vents lead into other rooms.
16.
You have the power within you right now to change the world. People don’t tell you that as often as they should for a reason. Many people are afraid of you realizing your potential in this life. It benefits them if you stay small, so don’t.
17. Be an intentional friend. Know things about your friends, check in on your friends, and support your friends. If you are not putting intention into your friendships then you are being a half ass friend. There are many things you can half ass in life, but friendships should not be one of them.
18. Cheating is never okay nor justifiable. I have ended friendships with my friends who have cheated on their partners. You chose to commit to that person, you need to respect that. If you don’t, because you are worthless trash, then walk away from them. They deserve much better for a partner than you.
19. Animals are irrefutable proof that God exists. They are the prime example of pure love. If you can, rescue an animal. They will add so much value to your life, but you will make theirs entirely.
20. There are many harmful, cancerous, and poisonous ingredients in your food and beauty products. You do not need to become a homesteader (unless this is what you want then by all means go for it) to make healthier, more conscientious choices. This does not mean all chemicals are bad either. It just means you have the power to decide what goes into the one and only body you have got.
21. We do not give our veterans enough. We could never give them enough. We have people who were willing to give up everything for us, homeless. We have those who lost everything for us, sick and without help. We do not deserve them. We never have. We need to become people and a country worth fighting for. We have to do better.
22. Your job is not and should never be your life. I can not stress this enough. I have seen companies truly rob people of everything and have a replacement lined up before their seat is cold. Take your vacation days. Take mental health days. Work hard to provide for your family. Working to live doesn't mean living to work. You can be a good employee second. Live your life first.
23. I was not a good big sister growing up. I might have been one of the worst. Yet my relationship with my brother wouldn’t show that to you. I can take 0 credit for that, that credit belongs with my little brother. He is more forgiving than I think I could ever be. I am grateful that he gave me the opportunity to be his friend as we got older. I want to be more like him.
24. My mother doubts herself way more than she should. I have never met anyone quite as determined as her. The woman is an all around badass and incredible person. She is truly one of the most successful people that I know, meaning that if she decides she's going to do something, I have never seen her not do it. There is no one else who should believe in themselves more than her. If I was a betting woman, I would bet everything I had on her every day, and twice on Sundays.
25. If you have ever told me to keep a secret, odds are my father knows it. He is my best friend and I tell him everything. He is an incredible listener and he remembers things. I could be talking about a friend he's only heard one story about yet he remembers the friend and the story. He is one of the most intentional people in his relationships. I truly do not know what I would do without him. More people need to be like my father.
26. The moment I saw my husband I recognized him in my heart and I knew I was going to marry him. Seeing him felt like coming home. He has proven me right in this fact time and time again. I don’t just have a husband, I have a partner. He never fails to teach me things each and every day. Watching him grow from the 27 year old I met to the 33 year old he is now has been one of my biggest blessings. He embodies the word selfless to a T. No matter how hard I try, I will never be worthy of his love. But I will never stop trying.
27. Last but certainly never least, this year I learned just how resilient I am. I can take a lot of hits, stress, responsibility, and burdens for not just myself but for others. I bend a lot but I never break. No matter what I have experienced in my life, I have never not walked away from it. My track record with winning my battles is flawless, I remain undefeated. My reminder to you is, you were born for this life because you and only you were meant to live it. The world is full of stories, please don’t ever deprive it of yours.
" You have the power within you right now to change the world.
People don’t tell you that as often as they should for a reason.
Many people are afraid of you realizing your potential in this life.
It benefits them if you stay small, so don’t. "
26 Lessons Learned as I turned 26
1. When someone says that you can't do something, do it twice and take pictures. Never let someone else's insecurities speak for your capabilities.
2. The more time you spend on your phone, the more likely you are to be unhappy. While social media and technology isn't inherently bad, the obsession with our screens is killing us. If you take a minute to look up and experience life, you will find it's more beautiful than what user546478345 has to say about it.
3. A done something is better than a perfect nothing. Please stop letting your excuses for why you're inadequate stop you from achieving your goals. Perfect isn’t real, and you would be alot more productive if you removed your foot from the break.
4. Selfish people latch on to the kind. It's not a reflection of your character, it's a reflection of theirs. Do not let the world change who you are. Stay kind, there are people out there who truly appreciate you for you and want nothing in return.
5. Food is fuel for your body. Stop refusing yourself the basic necessities of human life to look a certain way. Refusing to put gas in your car doesn't make it run better, it makes it a lawn ornament. Putting the right fuel in your body is essential for change. What works for one might not work for you, not all trucks take diesel.
6. We do not thank our soldiers enough. We could never thank our soldiers enough. Please stop taking for granted the beautiful moments in your life and disregard them as mundane ones. Someone laid down their life for you to have “ordinary”. Not many are willing to do what they do and they should be rewarded as such.
7. Planning a wedding is not for the faint of heart. Ever wanted to get an onslaught of opinions about stuff that truly doesn't matter like floral arrangements and cocktail hour Hors d'oeuvres? Just say wedding and watch the chips fall. When I was asked my wedding criteria I said “Scott is there and he says yes.” I truly didn’t care what anyone wore, said, or did because it truly doesn't matter. If we put half as much effort into our marriages as we did the seating chart, maybe the divorce rate would be lower.
8. If you were eating chips and dropped one, would you then dump the whole bag on the floor because it was ruined? No because that sounds crazy and super over the top. Stop treating your day the same way. Just because something bad happens doesnt make it a bad day. Take the moment for what it is and then resume eating your chips.
9. Life is tough, that is one of its few guarantees. We should remember that those around us are going through unspeakable challenges and show them love. Remember, God doesn't say love only the ones you think have earned it, he tells us to love all. Yes, even that person you're thinking of right now. Love is the best thing that we do
10. Other people's opinions of you are none of your business. Never let how other people feel about you change you. Self worth is intrinsic. A beer can be $2 dollars on special at a dive bar or $20 dollars at a football game, yet it is the same beer. You define your worth, not those around you.
11. Guess what? You're going to get it wrong. You're going to mess up at your job, as a friend, as a spouse, as a parent, as a kid, as a person. You are going to get it wrong. How beautiful is that? You have the opportunity to be better. Take accountability for being wrong, and celebrate this chance to grow. Congrats, you are human.
12. I always thought cats were mean until this year we adopted our sweet kitty. She snuggles, follows us around, plays with the dogs, and will let you do anything to her because she *doesn't care*. She has taught me so many things but the main being, stereotypes are a literal heap of garbage. We aren’t who others tell us to be.
13. Pets in general make life so much better. If you have the space and the means, rescue an animal. There are so many loving creatures out there who want and need homes. I would have a lot less light in my life without my 5 fur babies. You will never regret the love of an animal (even if they scream when they are overwhelmed).
14. Your home is your sanctuary. Treat it as such. Our homes deserve love and respect, clean up after yourself and take care of your belongings. If you find this difficult you might have too many belongings. I have found when we as humans have less of something we treat it with more respect and kindness. Donate what you have too much of, to someone who has too little.
15. People do not complete each other. That notion is a literal dumpster fire. The idea that two broken people meet and fix each other is something only applicable in disney movies. You might as well scream “ALL ABOARD the codependency train”. You are a complete person alone. Relationships aren't 50/50 they are 100/100.
16. Sometimes I worry about the world that my kids will grow up in. But then I look at kids now and I know we are in good hands. I have had the pleasure of both coaching and teaching some fantastic kids who have taught me about hard work, determination, compassion, and happiness. I want to be like them when I grow up. We're leaving the planet in good hands.
17. My mother notices every little detail, and I mean everything. If you ever where I get it from, insert exhibit A. This means that she remembers things about you. Things that matter to you, things you like, something you mentioned off hand 7 weeks ago. Not only does she remember it, she acts on it. Making her a fantastic friend and family member. I once told her I liked a plant she had in her house, and within a week I had the matching one in mine. She ran out to get it for me simply because she knew I would like it. We should all take a page out of her book.
18. My father is one of the most tolerant people I know. He takes a lot from everyone and somehow handles everything thrown his way. I don't know how he does it and still manages to come out stronger on the other side. He is the definition of resilience and he inspires me every day with his strength and unwavering compassion. If you have had the pleasure of knowing my dad then you know I am right when I say he is without a doubt one of the best humans to have ever existed.
19. My brother has and always will be a dreamer. When he was little he never could settle, and now is no different. He is always learning about what he can do, see, accomplish, or create next. His love for life is something that is truly inspiring and I wish I was as brave as him. I am confident in the fact that he will live an incredible life and leave behind an incredible legacy.
20. My husband has always given me the kind of love that I needed. I do not know how he always knows what I need, even if it's not what I think I want. He makes me a priority and does thoughtful things without me even asking. Note to past Morgan: Sometimes when he's outside for a while it's not because he's avoiding you, it's because he's planting lavender in front of your house because your wedding venue has lavender fields. We have the kind of love I used to dream about, and I could never say thank you enough.
21. Not everything you do needs to be shared with the world. There is beauty in savoring in a moment just as it is knowing that we can never get it back. So the next time something special happens, put down your phone. The concert never looks good played back on your shaky/blurry phone clip.
22. Pursue the courage to fail. Courage is knowing something could go bad and doing it anyway. I started a blog. I opened my brain and heart up to the world and was terrified it wouldn't be well received. But I did it anyway. Thousands of people all over the world have been to my website, read my words, seen my tiktoks, and sent me messages. I get emails from strangers telling me how much they needed to hear what I had to say. What are you holding onto for fear of failure? Get out there and do it.
23. Read a book, read 20 books. Reading is proven to reduce stress in adults, and what better way to learn about something you didn't know, experience a magical world, and fall in love with characters you will never meet than through the pages of a book. Let your imagination create a movie from the words from someone else's heart.
24. Sleep 8 hours a night. Seriously this I will sleep when I am dead bullshit is getting you closer to your grave. You need rest and you are not a failure for taking care of yourself. Think of all that Jesus accomplished, he did so on a donkey. Stop rushing, start resting.
25. Mental health matters. It matters so much more than we ever know. Please be there for your friends that you know are struggling. You never know how much a “I am thinking of you” matters to someone. Go to therapy. My therapist is INCREDIBLE and I couldn't have gotten through my past without her. If your house was on fire, or your car was broken, or your dog was sick you would ask for help from a professional. So stop diagnosing yourself and go see someone who is trained for this.
26. Last but certainly not least don’t regret anything. Your experiences, your choices, your actions led you to this moment. I am not sorry for what I went through because it gave me what I have. I have been asked many times “how do/did you do it?” I wish I had some heartfelt answer for it but it's always the same: I didn't give myself the choice. A life with no regrets is a free and powerful thing. Trust me, when I go down, its of my own accord.
" When someone says that you can't do something,
do it twice and take pictures.
Never let someone else's insecurities speak for your capabilities."
25 Lessons Learned as I turned 25
1.
Trust your gut. If you have a feeling about someone or their intentions, trust yourself. You are probably right.
2. The only thing that mutates more than COVID is negativity, and none of the variants are good. Just when you think you got it all out, there's a new adaptation. Don’t give up, eventually this won't be a mental state of emergency.
3. You are allowed to take up space, it is hard sometimes to do so, but it is crucial. We were not made to be invisible.
4. What if? Then what? Anxiety is a bitch. If you find yourself going down the doomsday spiral ask yourself what if the worst case scenario happened to you…. then what? You would be surprised to know, you are more capable than you realize.
5.
Get the phrase “failure is not an option” out of your head. Failure is and always will be an option. How will we know success without learning to fail? Failure is a gift.
6.
Comparison is cancer for the soul. We aren't meant to be like them, we are meant to be like us. Far too often we compare our day one to someone else's day 1000 and beat ourselves up for not being “there yet.” We do not all follow the same path, we do not all have the same “there”.
7.
The creation of new habits is a difficult but crucial step. It's like walking in deep snow creating a new path when a path is already worn down to the right of you. Stay on your path, remember why you started.
8. Family doesn't get to treat you however they want because they are “family.” A toxic relationship doesn't exclude family and a blood relation does not mean a hall pass to bad behaviors. Set your boundaries even when it's hard, those who don’t respect them don't really love you like a “family” should.
9.
A few pounds of dirt in the ocean doesn't make it dirty, humanity is the same way. There is good in the world, lots of good. Our water just gets a little muddy sometimes, but it always clears up. Although it couldn't hurt if we stopped throwing trash into it.
10.
People love to insert their opinions in your life, especially around any major life change. Do not let people in the nosebleed sections of your life have front row opinions.
11. Depression is rough. After I typed that I stared at it for a minute, realizing it was wrong. Depression is not rough… it's the absolute fucking worst. I spent months in “the dark place” this year. Thank you to all of the people who sat outside the locked door and waited for me to come out, never stopped knocking reminding me you were there, and for the hug you gave me when I came out. Just remember you are never as alone as your brain makes you feel.
12.
Let your animals on the damn couch. They only get to be in our lives for a short period of time and we are their entire world. Their world is within the confines of our home, don't make it smaller by not allowing them access to you. You can always vacuum the hair later, but you will never get that time back.
13.
Watch how you speak to yourself. Watch the negative thoughts you have in regards to yourself. If someone else spoke to you the way you speak to yourself would you speak to them again? We need to be kinder to ourselves.
14. We can do hard things, remind yourself of that.
15. Coaching children is one of the most rewarding things you can do. The look when they learn a new skill, make a new friend, or remember the cheers you taught the night before is unforgettable. I have been blessed to be coached by some of the best and I carry their love and wisdom with me to this day. I hope that I can make a difference in their lives the way my coaches did in mine.
16. Whoever said to not make friends with your coworkers is a liar. Some of my closest friends are people who I have met at work. I don't know how I would be able to do it without them. Thanks for all the walks to cool off, laughs shared, and for always making sure the computer doesn't swallow me whole. You are appreciated more than you know.
17. My mother is one of the best nurses on this planet. In a career like hers, most people get “hardened” to the hard parts of the job…loss, grief, tragedy, and death. But not her. My mom feels everything, remembers every patient, and grieves every loss as if it was her family member. It makes her job very hard, yet she never misses a day, never lets it show, and provides exceptional love and quality to her treatment of others. Her heart is as big as they come, I hope that I can love that hard.
18. My father is one of my best friends. We talk every single day. I call him when I am happy, sad, need to rant, miss him, have a minor question, and just want to say hey. He always answers, always listens, always knows when I am upset (even when I lie and say I am not), and always makes me feel loved. He goes above and beyond for his friends and family. He reminds me every day what kind of friend and parent I want to be.
19. My baby brother is no longer a baby. I hate and love that. Watching him grow up, graduate college, get his first big kid job, buy his second car, fall in love, and run a successful business … the pride I feel is indescribable. He can change the world, he just doesn't know it yet. Time is a thief, please don't outgrow me Bubs.
20. My fiancé, still getting used to that, reminds me every day what unconditional love is. He shows up for me in ways that I didn't even know were possible. He chooses me, on the days when it's hard, on the days when I am hard to be around, on the days that he himself is hurting, on the good days, on the days when he has 20 tons of stone, a Bobcat, and retaining wall bricks dropped off (yes this was all the same “day off”), and every day in between. You will always be my forever.
21.
Waking up is one of the most precious gifts we receive and we take it for granted. Today is a day you have never experienced and never will again, do not waste it.
22.
I don’t know why God does the things that he does, but I know one day that I will. Some of my greatest blessings started out as my biggest tragedies.
23. Go to therapy. I include this every year and I always will. It's one of the best things you can do for yourself and those that you love. We're not supposed to have all the answers, but two heads will always have more answers than one.
24. Insecurities are stupid. When we are 90 years old, we are going to look back on all the time wasted wondering if we were enough, if they liked us, if we were skinny enough, if our hair/makeup looked good and wished that we had spent more time living than in our head. People aren't worried about your insecurities, they are too busy in their head worrying about theirs.
25.
Last but not least do not give up. It's cheesy and cliché but it's not said enough. The only time we truly fail ourselves is when we don't show up. Oftentimes there is a long journey ahead but quitting doesn't get you there any sooner. If I had given up when I wanted to, I would have missed out on the best parts of my life to date. Remember flowers need rain to grow.
"Failure is and always will be an option.
How will we know success without learning to fail?
Failure is a gift."
24 Lessons Learned as I turned 24
1.
Some things more contagious than the Coronavirus are stupidity and a bad attitude. Stay AT LEAST 6 feet apart and wear a mask, it's for the best.
2.
Comparing pain, emotions, struggle and hurt is something that is irrelevant. Just because someone else broke their leg, doesn't mean that stubbing your toe doesn't hurt YOU. Your feelings matter
3.
Gratitude is one of the single most important things in all of our lives. Be grateful for everything in your life, even your struggles. They lead you to beautiful destinations.
4.
Work to live, don't live to work. At the end of the day your job will replace you as soon as you are no longer needed. Work so you can live a life with those who will not be so quick to replace you.
5. Invest in yourself. You can't pour from an empty cup. Take time to take care of you. There is a reason that flight attendants tell you to put on your oxygen mask first
6. Honesty is, and always will be, the best policy. Tell the truth even when others don't want to hear it, it will hurt, or it's scary. People will have more respect for someone they know has enough respect to be honest with them.
7. If something in your life is no longer serving you, walk away from it, them, or a situation. You life deserves more then dead weight
8.
Learn the power of no. Don't be readily available and say no to things you don't want to do. You don't have to provide an excuse, you can just say no.
9. Therapy. Therapy. Therapy. If you are not in counseling, sign up yesterday. It doesn't mean you're broken, it means you're human. You have a doctor right? Treat mental health the same. My therapist is one of my best friends.
10. Get a dog. Get two dogs. Get three dogs. Dogs are the best thing on this planet. This year I rescued a pandemic puppy and adopted a retired K9, 2 new dogs in 7 months. That makes 3 dogs and a bunny. I wouldn't change anything about my boys for a second, if anything, I would get another.
11.
You have to wake up everyday and choose your partner. Not just on wedding days, anniversaries, and holidays. You have to choose them when it's easy, hard, and when they flood your house because they tried to wash their baseball hat in the dishwasher with hand soap the night before you move out. I love you baby lol.
12.
Trust in the magic of new beginnings. There is always something new out there waiting for you if you are brave enough to chase after it.
13. Not knowing the answer is such a wonderful opportunity. Ask, learn, grow your mindset and then once you know the answer, ask a new question.
14. Tequila might not hold the secret to life like wine (see 2019 list), but it's worth a shot.
15. My mother is proof that if you set your mind to something you can accomplish anything. She received her masters this year. She didn't have an easy time doing so with fighting cancer, working multiple jobs, teaching clinicals to nursing students, getting a cardiac ablation awake alone in the hospital because of COVID, being a mother, sister and friend. But she did it. And she did it with a 4.0 for 5 years. Never receiving lower than an A on any assignment. She is pure strength and grit and she is a Master in Nursing.
16.
My father has taught me so many things over the years that it is a whole separate list, but the two that stick out to me are 1.Treat everyone with respect and remember that they are in your life for a reason, they have something to teach you. 2. Drop anything and everything for the people who matter. He is the perfect example of selfless and I want to be more like him.
17. My brother is brave. He started a business doing what he loves as a full time student during a global pandemic. He is crushing it and I couldn't be more proud to watch him chase his dreams. If you have time, like and share his page. It would help him out a lot and I know he would appreciate it.
18. My boyfriend is strong. He is the perfect example of building yourself up from tragedy. Nothing can break him and I love watching him kick life's ass. He is constantly becoming stronger, smarter, and better. One of my biggest accomplishments was getting you to say yes to me.
19. God is approximately 1.5 million steps ahead of you. When it feels like you don't know what to do or how to look ahead, look up. He’s got this.
20.
Moving is stressful but you need to embrace the suck. As someone who has moved twice during the pandemic it isn't fun, or easy, but it is certainly worth it. Whether it's moving to a new job, new house, new partner, or a new opportunity, change is where we grow and learn.
21.
Friendships are so important to your life. Keep the healthy ones, walk away from the self serving ones, and be brave enough to make new ones. My friends, oh my gosh my friends, they can make me laugh like no one else, feel supported like no one else, and feel so grateful that I get to know them in the ways I do. Thank you for putting up with me, I truly don't deserve you all.
22. Balance is crucial in all things. Finding the happy medium between what we want and what we need, that is truly happiness.
23.
People are going to talk when you're succeeding, when you're failing, and even when you don't give them a reason to. Let them. You can live rent free in their minds, just don’t give up any free real estate in your own.
24.
Last but certainly not least, as cliché as it sounds, everything happens for a reason. Even when it doesn't make sense at the time. Every choice you make forever shapes your life, make these choices with conviction knowing there is a reason for every step we take. I hope 2021 is challenging, difficult, and brings struggles, so we can each grow, learn, adapt and become stronger.
"You can live rent free in their minds, just don’t give up any free real estate in your own."
23 Lessons Learned as I turned 23
1.
Character is developed not in the moment when it is needed, but in all the small and seemingly insignificant moments leading up to that.
2.
In order to be strong, truly strong, you have to fail. You can not be strong without a rough patch.
3. It is never too late.
4. Trust in yourself. God handed you everything that you need to survive, you just have to look inward.
5. Sometimes you need to forgive others when they don’t deserve it. It’s not for their benefit, it’s for yours.
6. Live every day like a kid on Christmas. If you believe in the magic, it will find you.
7. If someone tells you that you have changed... thank them. You should be constantly, changing, learning, and growing.
8. Actually live your life, don’t just exist. What would you do if today was your last chance? Now do that thing.
9. Ask yourself, would you want to be friends with you? If the answers no, be a better friend to others.
10. Believe. Believe when it’s hard, believe when it hurts, and believe when the world tells you not to. That’s how it separates the believers from the rest.
11. There is nothing that a good old fashion cuddle from a pet can’t fix.
12. My dog is more famous than I will ever be and I’m okay with that. It’s well deserved.
13. Cancer is really tough. But my Mom is way tougher. She inspires me like no other. There is nothing that she can not do. I pray this coming year is her best yet.
14. My father is one of the most reliable and devoted people on this planet. I don’t know how I got so lucky to be his daughter but I’m thankful every day I am.
15. My brother. I am so proud of my brother, I am proud to see him turn his passion, creativity, and drive into tangible things. He will be undeniably successful.
16. My friends. My best friends. I have met and become close with some amazing people this year who have made my world brighter. My friends new and old give me strength when I don’t think I can do it anymore.
17. My boyfriend. I never knew what unconditional love and love at first sight were until I met him. He reminds me that sometimes true love isn’t always in a romantic comedy, although life with him feels like one.
18. Family is and always will be what you make it. Sometimes family isn’t family and sometimes those who aren’t blood are.
19. Children are the most precious gift we have they are our future, they are kind, and their love knows no limits. Let’s be better for them.
20. Getting help, whether it’s from a self help book, a counselor, a church, or a friend will never make you broken. We’re all broken, don’t let fear keep you that way.
21. We do not deserve our God or his love. But he loves us just the same. Give thanks for that and remember you are never alone.
22. Wine just might hold the secret to life. Drink a bottle and you will find out.
23. Last but not least. I hope you fail, screw up, get hurt, and have your heartbroken. These are the moments that shape our paths. With out these things we will never learn, grow, become stronger, evolve, and transform into who were meant to be. Plus after a while it will make a great story.
"Character is developed not in the moment when it is needed, but in all the small and seemingly insignificant moments leading up to that."
22 Lessons Learned as I turned 22
1. Creating a plan is wonderful, but watching a plan become Gods plan is even better
2. The hardships we face are, in the end, our biggest blessings
3.
Character is never defined in the moment where it counts. It is defined up in the millions of small moments where no one is watching
4. If you believe in something you will risk everything for it. If you wouldn’t risk it all, you don’t truly believe
5.
Magic is totally real.
6. Take a chance, those end up being the best stories whether or not it works out the way you initially thought it would
7.
Never ever underestimate the beauty of rain
8. Say and do exactly what is on your mind. Always be authentically you
9. Fall in love. Hard. And fall in love again every time you look at them. Remember how blessed you are to have the chance to do that.
10.
Your habits, beliefs, and actions determine what God sends your way. So never ever let them be negative
11.
Find your true friends, your tribe, your family, and always cherish them and the love they bring into your life
12.
We do not deserve animals, love them as such
13.
Treating your body right sometimes includes eating that cake you really want
14.
Helping someone, truly helping them by what ever means necessary, should be something you do because it’s right, not because you can make a Facebook post and ask for praise
15. God has never and will never give up on you. I can promise you there are moments when you will feel like he has. But he doesn’t make mistakes, there is a plan I promise
16.
If you see a really handsome man who stumbles into your life, chase that man down, he’s worth it. He will completely change your life and you will constantly be in awe at his strength, courage, mind, and heart.
17. Children know more than you think, they are incredibly special, smart, talented, kind, and they are our future . Trust me, I have taught some amazing kids who have changed my life and our future is very bright
18.
My mother is with out a doubt the strongest and smartest person I know. She inspires me every day.
19.
My father is hysterical, compassionate, and always helping someone else and gaining nothing out of it, he is the kind of person we should all be.
20.
My brother, oh my little brother, can make me laugh like no one else, between his dance moves, his jokes, and his inability to drink a full bottle of water, he is pretty remarkable
21.
My friends. I would not be here with out them. You guys are truly my support system and I would be lost with out you
22. And lastly dream big, create goals that seem out of reach, invest in yourself, invest in others, do everything with positive intentions and look around you. This is a beautiful life and I’m so appreciative of it and the things it continues to teach me.
"Take a chance, those end up being the best stories whether or not it works out the way you initially thought it would"
21 Lessons Learned as I turned 21
1. Life is too short to be anything but happy
2. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, so tell the people you love you love them.
3. Sometimes if your pants are too short, they aren't capris, they are just your little brothers pants
4. People come and go
5. Family is what you make it
6. Time is no indication of the validity or strength of any relationship
7. Every person in your life can teach you something
8. To some its junk but to my father its necessary and he can turn it into a lamp
9. My mother has the best laugh in the world
10. My brother is way funnier than I will ever be
11. If you want it.. earn it
12. The less time you spend trying to please others the happier you will be
13. Chick-fil-a should be open on Sundays
14. Dogs and Rabbits make the world a better place
15. Life is simple, ask a child
16. Mistakes need to be made, that's how we learn
17. Always play your music loud
18. Dance....always
19. No one is perfect.... but God loves us all
20.Karma is real
21. Last but certainly not least I was blessed with a great life, ups and downs included, and I can never thank you all enough.